Ultra Liberal Opinion

It appears that some politically incorrect Iranians are demanding democracy. We are alarmed because President Obama was just beginning to establish a rapport with the current president of Iran, Ahmenijad.

We sincerely hope that Mr. Obama sticks to his principles and continues to say as little as possible about the uprising.

After all, the Democrats do believe in official election results and anyone who challenges an election is probably a right wing neocon type.

President Obama’s recent overtures to Iran are a good first step. After many years of mistakenly shunning the Republic it’s time for a change.

It would make sense to send Iran about $500 billion in stimulus package assistance, to help them get on their feet again after three decades of American boycotts and military attacks. The gratitude of the Iranian people will be reflected in a more friendly foreign policy, and perhaps they will be deterred from future provocations.

Now that our new ultraliberal president is fully installed in the White House, we should consider some legislation that will reflect the present trends.

There has been a volunteer movement toward adding “Hussein” to one’s name. For example, John Smith becomes “John Hussein Smith”. We are suggesting that this be mandated by legislation. All parents who name their child “Hussein” would receive a tax credit and a special mention in a new “Hussein Role of Honor” to be established by Congress.

An agency of the Federal Government should be created that would monitor and regulate this activity. For example, it should watch out for people who change their name to Hussein twice in order to obtain a double tax credit, which would be unfair.

By promoting this cultural shift, we are training our children to a new level of diversity sensitivity and sending a message to the rest of the world that America has changed.

In the new century, we Americans need to recognize that work in its traditional sense is outmoded.  Those who work today are naive and foolish.  Hard work may have been considered a virtue once upon a time, but today it is an archaic relic and should be discarded.

Instead, people should be issued a stipend and housing by the government and allowed to truly pursue happiness as mandated by the Constitution.

Skeptics will no doubt ask–how will we pay for this?  Well, friends, there is plenty of money floating around this country and most of it is in the hands of a few rich, white men.  It’s time to liberate this funding for the good of all.  The government needs to confiscate this revenue and distribute it to everyone in the form of a monthly stipend.  The rich white men can also sell their rich houses to be public housing or community centers for all to enjoy, not just the few.

Corporate executives who earn more than $50,000, which is 99% of them, should also fork over their ill-gotten earnings to the government, which will justly and fairly distribute this money to Blacks, Hispanics, and others who are more deserving.  Actually, some of these corporate positions should also be handed over to disadvantaged people of color so that the future direction of corporations will favor the poor rather than the rich.

In particular, we would like to see Walmart nationalized and have its current executive staff prosecuted for their many discriminatory policies.  Those found not guilty may be put to work as greeters or other menial positions within the company, and the rest should do hard labor.

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